


expendable

by Anonymous



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Klance is there if u squint, M/M, Trigger warning kind of for suicide because it really be like that, i larb my kids, like ur looking at the eclipse, mostly platonic but really not, really hard, that bit after Keith almost sacrifices himself
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-13 18:54:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13576839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: hello! I tried not to make it too out of character. This is probably not canon compliant all in all(kind of already established relationship?) but this scene takes place just after Keith is going to sacrifice himself in season 4.





	expendable

It’s the type of silence that hurts. Lance can practically feel the tension building up in his throat. He feels all at once that he swallowed something wrong and that he hasn’t eaten for days because the ache in his stomach won’t go away. Not even when he’s back in the hanger. Not even when he’s sat in his room. Not even when Keith is right fucking there, a fingertips brush away and yet a million light years at the same time. He wonders what Keith is thinking, because at the moment he can’t think of anything but the shared halted breath over the comms.

With no confirmation Lance had known, he’d _known_ , that Keith was the one pulling some self-sacrificing stunt to save them all.

It’s the type of silence that can’t be cut through with a cough or shaky breath. Lance’s ears are ringing with how close Keith’s death had been. Looming above them like a storm cloud, he swears he can feel the warmth of a summer downpour.

Keith leans forward slowly, as if moving any faster would startle Lance like a spooked animal. He raises a hand but stops, a hairs width away from Lance’s face. Then, finally, gently, he rubs the tip of his index finger across Lance’s cheek, collecting the tears that had settled on the curves of his face. A stuttering sound rips from Lance’s mouth.

“Lance,” Keith says. It sounds like question. “You know why I did it. You know why I had to.” And, as if it burned to say, “You know I would again.”

“So that’s what being with the blades done to you? Taught you that’s its- it’s okay for you to just throw yourself into deaths hands like that?” Lance asks. Keith’s face changes to something not unlike anger. He moves his hand from Lance’s face.

“The blades haven’t done anything to me.” Lance’s frown twists painfully. His stomach wrenches again.

“I know.” He admits, bringing a hand to his hair, runs it through stressfully, pulling at shirt strands until his scalp is tender. “I know,” he repeats through a sob. “I just hoped, that, that...” He starts to cry again, and Keith pulls Lance’s hands from his hair and rests them gently at his side.

Lance has never felt this feeling. The ugly fear burrowed under his skin, the terror of something like this happening and the possibility of it happening again in the future. He can feel the pressure of Keith’s hands on his knees. They sit crossed legged like school-children telling secrets, so close he can feel the other boys breath on his face. He meets Keith’s eyes through a glaze of tears.

“I just want you to come home.” Lance says. “Where I don’t have to worry about you. Where I don’t _need_ to worry about you because I know that even if I’m not fast or strong or smart enough to stop you from getting hurt at least you’re surrounded by people willing to try.” he says in a heated rush, “And I know,” Lance continues, another heedless cry slipping out as if he isn’t already flushed with embarrassment, “I know that it’s selfish to want you to be safe when everyday people are enslaved and murdered by the Galra. I know I can’t ask you to stop doing what you can for the war effort, for the innocents who have no one else to turn to - but god, do I want to.”

Lance watches through another wave of tears as Keith finally looks at him with his shakey-but-earnest fondness ( ~~and guilt~~ ). He opens his mouth to speak again but Keith shakes his head, his hair, longer now from his time spent with the Blades, shakes with him.

“Lance,” Keith starts, his left hand now rubbing up and down his leg comfortingly, “I’m not completely unaware of my own self-worth. I don’t want to die a martyr or even a soldier, but I chose to make a sacrifice, to save who I could. And I didn’t do it for the greater good, not like I should have.” Keith closes his eyes and Lance stares at him listlessly.

“What...” Lance’s words stop before they even truly start. He’s clouded up with a brutal negativity and it bites at his insides cruelly. They sit in silence, the only sound the steady hum of the overhead lights. Lance’s thoughts wind up tightly in a ball. His head throbs from crying.

“I did it because I miss you. I miss the team. I miss Shiro, Pidge and Hunk, Allura and Coran.” Keith shoulders sag. “I miss being here so much it feels like it’s eating me up. I’ve never been homesick before, not like you have. But I know that this is it for me.” Keith says with a a huff of laughter. Lance slowly rests his hand on top of Keith’s. Keith tangles their finger together quickly, his bare, calloused hand against Lance’s longer, tan digits. He meets his eyes again.

“I don’t connect with people. In the Garrison my only friend was Shiro, and he has to like me,” Keith mutters.

Lance smiles crookedly. “Who said he liked you?” he teased.

Keith laughed through his nose. “My point is... I know I’m hard to love. Hell, I’m hard to like. My own mom couldn’t do it.” He makes a noise that breaks Lance’s heart five times over. “I just figured, if I could protect the people who love me, it would at least start to pay back what I owe you guys, for dealing with me.” It’s sarcastic and satire but there’s an honest undertone.

“Keith, we don’t deal with you; loving you isn’t a favor.” Lance says indignantly, squeezing his fingers. “Maybe you’re angry a lot, and huffy. I won’t lie and tell you you’re approachable or especially bubbly, but Keith. You - you aren’t hard to love. You think that everyone on this ship adores you because they have to?” Lance asks skeptically.

Keith feels warm with it - the affirming lilt in Lance’s voice, the honesty. He tightens the grip he has on Lance’s hand. “I just... Miss you. Everyday.” he says. He doesn’t say _I’m scared of losing you_ , but somehow Lance hears it.

Lance gives him his widest smile, face covered in dry tears but practically glowing. “I missed you too, samurai.” _You don’t have to be._

The conversation isn’t over, but the next silence hurts less.

 

**Author's Note:**

> hello! I tried not to make it too out of character. This is probably not canon compliant all in all(kind of already established relationship?) but this scene takes place just after Keith is going to sacrifice himself in season 4.


End file.
